i hurt so much......

i feel so lost right now.....

blah blah blah.....

there has got to be more somewhere......b/c i'm tired of just being me......

EDIT****

new xanga......this one is dead....

www.xanga.com/GirlWithTheBrokenPieces

go there...

Ok, so watching Dr. 90210 makes me want to get my boobs done even more.....and i want them done by Dr. Robert Rey......he's so much fun and all his patients look amazing after they have recovered.......I WANT THEM DONE SO BAD! GGGRRRR!

if i had the money to get my boobs done i would SO do it.....i dont want people to think i'm shallow by doing it but i would just feel better about myself.....they are too small.....and that is the only type of plastic surgery i would ever want to get....and i just want like a full C cup....i would be pretty damn happy with that.....b/c i know if i end up losing weight they are just gonna get smaller....and push up bras just dont do the trick for me.....i told my mom i wanted to get them done and she just sighed and said, thats a lot of money...your living in a dream world....correction i live in reality mother! lol......maybe later in life when i have a job and make decent money i'll fly myself out to California, look up Dr. Rey and get them done.....thats my plan folks!

GIRLS NIGHT!!!!!! just a few more days away! looking forward to it greatly!

i'm kinda bored....and i found this.....

and i really want to say i'm sorry for anyone i have ever hurt or betrayed....it was just bothering me....i wish i could go back and change so many things

I AM: Andrea Katina Jobanis

I WANT: My life to be simple again

I HAVE: A wonderful boyfriend!

I WISH: I patch things up with my old friends

I HATE: Ignorance....and people who judge

I MISS: My Papu

I FEAR: Dying alone

I HEAR: 311s Wake Your Mind Up

I SEARCH: For success

I WONDER: If i will ever figure out my life

I REGRET: A lot of things

I LOVE: My boyfriend!

I ACHE: for my sister and for my old life

I ALWAYS: look into the bad aspects of my life instead of looking for the good things

I DANCE: With Amanda! lol

I SING: When I am alone

I CRY: Too much

I AM NOT ALWAYS: Shy

I WRITE: Poems, i write in my journal....A LOT!

I WIN: Nothing

I LOSE: All the time

I CONFUSE: most people

I NEED: To find a better job

I SHOULD: live my life the way i want to

9 things that make you smile:

1.My boyfriend

2. My mom

3. My Aunt

4. My boss Mike from Kankakee

5. Amanda

6. Ryan

7. Cookies

8. Pictures

9. Compliments

8 things that you wear daily:

1. underwear

2. a bra...

3. pants

4. A shirt

5. glasses

6. a sweatshirt

7. hairtie

8. socks

7 things that annoy you:

1. Work

2. Cold weather

3. Ignorant people

4. when i'm used

5. My sisters stupid boyfriend

6. My sister

7. When i get something wrong

forward to:

1. getting married

2. having a family

3. Figuring  out what i want to do with my life

4. Going to Florida for spring break

5. seeing my mom

6. seeing my little sister Emma

5 things that you are afraid of:

1. Being Alone

2. Failing

3. Losing Anthony

4. Divorce

5. Not making someone proud of me

4 people that you talk to daily:

1. Anthony

2. My mom

3. Work

4. Myself

3 foods you could live off of:

1.  Pizza

2. Pasta

3. Janikies (sp) italian beefs

2 unforgettable memories:

1. Losing my Papu

2. My summer in Florida after 8th grade

1 person you could spend the rest of your life with:

1.  Anthony....i could not imagine my life without that man in it and i know that he is the one that i am going to marry........I love you baby!

                                 WHY ARE MY FEELINGS ALWAYS THE ONES

         TO GET STEPPED ON?????? I'M SO TIRED OF THAT!!!!!!!!!!

            I'M SICK OF BOWING DOWN TO EVERYONE ELSES WISHES.........

***********EDIT**************

i feel so bad for amber........i wish that there was something i could do....sad news today.....

Today.............................

                            is not a good day.......................

    i just want to stay in bed and not get up to do anything.....

                                       i'm so pissed

******EDIT*********

yeah so i totally cried watching Full House today......how retarted.....but it was an episode about where Jessies Papu came to visit from Greece and Michelle asked him to come to her class one day the next week and show them all a Greek dance......and of course he agreed and everyone had so much fun with him and he would run around saying, "OPA, OPA!" well then that next day he died.......well of course it brought back all of those memories i had with my Papu and how much i miss him b/c he was the exact same way....i was his cooklamu....his babydoll.....and i was around Michelles age when it happened......maybe a little younger.......it sucked so bad.....i just started balling my eyes out so bad bc i just miss seeing him, hugging him, being his favorite......i'm no ones favorite now....i dont even have that many friends......and it does suck....i haven't cried about this in a long time....he's never gonna see me get married....he'll never see his great grandchildren.......he didn't get to see me graduate....he didn't even get to come to grandparents breakfast when i was little......now i just have an empty feeling b/c he was the one grandparent i had that speant all his attention on me.....how Kaylee wasn't the favorite, how there was no attention on Amanda all the time......how Emma gets whatever she wants......how all my family is proud of everyone else in it but me.........i feel so low right now...